I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
