That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
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You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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