were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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