do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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