either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
