So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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