She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
