Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
