fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
