My first STD was from a foam party
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
