bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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