I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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