This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
