Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize