I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
