Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
