Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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