Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
