he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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