Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
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There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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