Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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