Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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