I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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