So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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