To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
