There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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