o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize