i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
