she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
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I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
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Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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