Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
