so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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