you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize