ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I look better un-naked...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
