I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
