before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
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At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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