actually, I'm a sock model
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
