i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
