You work out of a Hotel?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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