she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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