it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
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You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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