Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
