Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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