If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
