One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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