Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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