just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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