O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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