i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize