Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
