At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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