Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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