Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just found a bag of teeth...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
