There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
