Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
