There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
