I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just googled if crying burns calories
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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