I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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