you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
