Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I have post one night stand depression
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