I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
