you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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